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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832418">Kill My Kiwi</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlejeanniebean/pseuds/littlejeanniebean'>littlejeanniebean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fine Line - Harry Styles (Album), Kill My Mind - Louis Tomlinson (Song), Kiwi - Harry Styles (Song), One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drama &amp; Romance, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:34:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,811</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832418</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlejeanniebean/pseuds/littlejeanniebean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiwi and Puppy are eventual boyfriends. Don't let his name deceive you, Puppy is the one with a cactus farm.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. nightmare on the dance floor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kiwi was an atrocious dancer. He didn’t even need to be drunk. Puppy stood uncomfortably off to the side with the rest of his friend group, watching his former schoolmate whom he hadn’t seen in <em> years </em> repeatedly attempt a body roll. He was cute, sure, but not <em> that </em> cute that people wouldn’t stare in a very judgemental way.</p><p>“Hey, you’ve known this guy since sixth form, righ’?” Cake breathed smoke into Puppy’s face as he tried to talk over the music, “Can’t ya get ‘im to stop? Personally, I don’t care what he does, but he’s kinda ruining our chances if y’know wha’ I mean?”</p><p>“Shit, that sounds a lot like caring tuh me, Cakes,” despite the uncertainty of his internal monologue, Puppy cut a perfectly nonchalant figure, tapping his cigarette lightly before taking it between his pink lips.</p><p>“Well, if ya don’t ‘ave a word wiv ‘im, Icing will sooner or later. And y’know ‘ow he gets -”</p><p>“Awrigh’, awrigh’,” he shoved himself off the wall he’d been leaning on and adjusted his red and black bomber jacket, “Hey, Ki!”</p><p>“Hey!” Kiwi spun around less than elegantly, teetering on his long legs that were almost deer-like, shapely, toned - <em> no </em> , Puppy, <em> focus </em>!</p><p>“Righ’, wha’ d’ya say we get us and the lads a couple drinks, yeah?” </p><p>“Okay!”</p><p>The drinks made it worse. As far as Puppy could remember, alcohol always slowed Kiwi down, not hyped him up, but of <em> course </em> as luck would have it, tonight was the exception.</p><p>Kiwi was throwing himself to-and-fro with abandon on the dance floor, always within arms-length of Puppy, who sought the safety of his normal friend group and stood stoically by Cake and Icing, who were trying to chat up two girl friends while growing increasingly annoyed at the distraction that was long-haired and loud Kiwi.</p><p>Suddenly, Kiwi was grinding on Puppy, who was at a loss for what to do other than laugh nervously and gently nudge his shoulders to try to get him to back off. Puppy wasn’t exactly… out to his friends yet and he couldn’t stand the funny looks they and their dates were giving him. </p><p>“Oi! Cut it out, will ya?” he shoved Kiwi harder, so he stumbled around a bit before finally righting himself, “Come with me, I think ya need tuh take a walk and sober up, yeh?”</p><p>Kiwi let himself be guided out into the empty two-a.m. street in a city he’d just moved into and that didn’t feel quite like home yet. That’s why he was so happy to see a familiar face. A very nice face, at that, but now his old friend’s jaw was clenched and he was cracking his knuckles like he used to when they were losing a footie game, which was usually Kiwi’s fault if he was being honest. He’d never been a great player.</p><p>“Wha’ was tha’?” Puppy asked quietly.</p><p>“Wha’ was wha’?”</p><p>“<em> Tha’ </em>! In front of me mates!”</p><p>That boiling anger made Kiwi stand very still on the roadside while Puppy glared at him from where he stood up on the sidewalk so they were a little closer to eye-level. Then he realized he hadn’t given him an answer and managed a stiff shrug. </p><p>“<em> Bollocks </em> , y’know what your problem is, Ki? You never talk unless <em> you </em> feel like it, well, that’s rather selfish, innit? Sometimes people need some kind of explanation, don’t ya think?”</p><p>“Well... unlike <em> some </em> people,” he spoke slower and lower than usual, “I’d rather not lie.” </p><p>Puppy watched him leave in the general direction of the tube station and swallowed the urge to say more. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. devil in my brain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“How’d you find out where I live?” Kiwi huffed.</p><p>“You left your locator on that night,” Puppy waved his iPhone carelessly before stepping across the threshold.</p><p>“You watched me on my way home?”</p><p>“You were drunk, but you wanted to be alone. I found a compromise.”</p><p>Kiwi gestured vaguely at his kitchen, “Can I get you something to -”</p><p>“I just need to get one thing straight with you,” Puppy was cracking his knuckles again, “I’m not a liar. I’m just careful.”</p><p>“You <em> care </em> too much about what people think -”</p><p>“Yes, and so <em> wha’ </em> ?” he challenged, “Maybe <em> you </em> could stand to live in that… that <em> stupid </em> little town longer than you had to, but <em> I </em> couldn’t! Go ahead, be the better person, bloody good for y-”</p><p>Kiwi was cupping his cheeks in his large, warm hands. Kiwi was pressing his lips to his. Kiwi was… was… a rather good kisser - <em> focus </em> , Puppy, <em> dammit </em>!</p><p>“Wha’ was tha’?” that came out quieter than he would’ve liked.</p><p>“Me not lyin’,” the whispered confession rumbled through both their bodies, “Puppy… say something? You’re tremblin’...”</p><p>“Ya can’t just… <em> fuck </em> , ya can’t just… <em> lodge </em> yourself in me brain and start… start… <em> killin’ </em> me with all your… your...” he grabbed Kiwi’s hands and chucked them off his face, “You’ve forgotten how much it… how much it <em> hurts </em> to get… get a little… just a <em> little </em> from someone and have them take it away because you’re… you’re too gay or your too straight - like what the <em> fuck </em>?” Puppy buried his face in his lithe hands.</p><p>“... And then... you start to hear this voice in your head,” Kiwi continued for him, “tellin’ yeh how to be and what to do before yeh even know what yeh actually want… It’s not something you can forget… no matter how many people you’ve come out to… Look, I just… I <em> like </em> you… but you don’t have to do anything with that if you don’t want -”</p><p>“I <em> don’t </em> want to,” Puppy said quickly and left just as fast.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. what i’d do without you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Why, do I keep sayin’ shit like that, Jackie?” Puppy addressed his schlumbergera cactus, “Oh, don’t start, Alice - you too, Barb,” he pouted at the older cacti on his shelf, “He just kinda came outta nowhere with tha’, y’know? Wha’ was I supposed tuh do? … Well, if yeh must know, Nosy-Nancy… yes, he is a good kisser, but tha’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> mean I’m doin’ it again! … Yeah, and you’d know all about leaving pasts behind, wouldn’t ya, George? … Alrigh’! Alrigh’, yeh lot, I’ll call ‘im!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Puppy mumbled to the dial tone, “Takin’ advice from cacti. You’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> hit the bottom of the -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Puppy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” they said in unison, “Wha’ are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t say things I don’t mean,” said Puppy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t say things like tha’ too soo - wait, wha’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, maybe, but while we’re getting practice sayin’ things -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, up yours, Ki-ki.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wha’</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. Go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Puppy paced, “No, it’s not proper doin’ this over the phone. I’ll come see ya -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doorbell rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Puppy stopped mid-step, “Are you -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he opened the door, “I like you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kiwi smiled widely, still holding his phone to his ear, “Did you know your voice sounds deeper on the phone than in person?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Puppy shook his head, “You. You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>killin’</span>
  </em>
  <span> me,” and then he kissed him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. it’s none of your business</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Puppy smoked. A lot. You could smell it in his bomber jackets and in his soft brown hair. And you could taste it in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kiwi drank. More than he should. You could see it when his eyes went wild and his large hands knew no inhibitions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were both like this on a particular Friday night - Puppy’s sarcastic wit flying like darts and Kiwi quoting poems he hadn’t read in years. And they were both undeniably, uncontrollably drawn together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just wanna be your baby," Kiwi sang into the shell of Puppy's ear as they swayed to the music, "I just wanna be your baby tonight…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They could feel eyes on them. It was a very rugged pub in a small, traditional town. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One patron slurred, "Take that faggot shit outta here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oi! It's none of </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> business, now is it?" Puppy snapped back, balling his hands into tight fists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shh, baby," whispered his partner and they kept on dancing. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. i’m gonna pay for this</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kiwi's flat had these three prints of New York landmarks - Times Square, Empire State, and Lady Liberty. He'd been there once. He'd always been restless, searching. But after too many nights of sitting alone in a hotel room - not because there was nobody around, just that there was nobody around he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>be</span>
  </em>
  <span> with - he came home for good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That's when he met Puppy and his shelf of cactuses. Each one had a name. Alice, Barbara, Collin, Dicky… He was trying to get up to the letter Z. He had the terrible habit of spending his money as soon as he earned it, so if he couldn't afford to buy a cactus that month, he knew he was fucked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why cactuses?" Kiwi asked, unbuttoning the black dress he'd worn just because he felt like it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I get called a prick a lot," Puppy smiled up at him with zero remorse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kiwi pouted, "Noooo, I don't like that. You're like the sun. That's why all the cacti love you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's the dumbest shit I ever heard," Puppy kissed him hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My parents want to meet you," said Kiwi breathlessly, having only his fishnet stockings left on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaaand you had to go ruin the moment."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You told them I'm just your </span>
  <em>
    <span>friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I'm not putting a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>mask</span>
  </em>
  <span> on around you -"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, if </span>
  <em>
    <span>you'd</span>
  </em>
  <span> just talk to </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> parents there'd be no risk of them finding out through mine -"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Puppy slammed the door to the bathroom and stayed there until he heard Kiwi leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d left a note that said, "I just wanna be your baby xx."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Puppy sighed and pulled out his phone, finding Baby in his contacts, "I'm gonna pay for this…" he said to the ringtone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Having second thoughts, baby?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No need to sound so smug, I'll do it. Now get back here so we can get down to business."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, sir."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. i’m having your baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Puppy was convinced he was going crazy. He knew he liked boys, he'd had relationships with boys, but he'd never been serious with </span>
  <em>
    <span>a</span>
  </em>
  <span> boy. Serious enough to have </span>
  <em>
    <span>the talk</span>
  </em>
  <span> with his parents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, Kiwi could smile the pants off anyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe they were actually… supportive," Puppy shook his head, unable to stop his mouth from stretching into his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course, they were, baby," Kiwi kissed the top of his head, "They raised </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The most nurturing person I know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I literally have eighteen cacti, how do you justify that statement?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm wearing multicolored nail polish and a dress. I couldn't do that before I met you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Puppy smiled, "I just love having you, baby. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kiwi was always up for a good cry. So as soon as those words left his lover's lips, the waterworks started and Puppy vowed from then on to always say nonsensical things instead of anything remotely resembling, "I love you." Kiwi's favorite quickly became, "I'm having your baby."</span>
</p>
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